Realize
by TheRandomPencil
Summary: When? Why...? Oh. Now I remember.


_**Hi there! Once more, it is I, Perath! And here, I once again brought to you.. MORE ANGSTY LOVE LIVE! Well, this is more of a revenge for a certain someone I know. It just so happen that Hanayo is her best girl. So please, reader. Have a little bit of angsty Hanayo!**_

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When did she start to see it?

Was it just now? Was it way back then?

When did she start to see the passionate gazes being silently shared between them? When did her orange-haired lover begin looking at the red-haired pianist in that certain way? When did her lover begin to realize her feelings for the red-head and not for her?

The rice-loving girl felt all the negative emotions possible in this world. She felt abandoned. She was the orange-haired girl's lover. The cat-like girl should only be looking at her in such a way. But why was she looking at the pianist with those longing eyes that should only be directed at her? Why were her lover's eyes betraying her, looking the other way when her eyes should only be landed on one person? And... Why was the pianist looking back with the same longing eyes? Eyes that held such adoration and affection that she herself couldn't ignore. Even if she tried to tell herself, 'It's probably nothing', she just couldn't. Why..?

No. At this point, those questions are irrelevant. There's only one question she should be asking and that one question belongs to her.

Why in the world did you do this to yourself? Why did you confess to the girl who you knew would never reject you? Why did you confess to the girl who you knew loved someone else yet would never turn their back on you? Why did you take advantage of that person, your best friend's kindness just to get what you wanted? Huh, Hanayo? Why did you do this to yourself?

It was all her fault. She knew this would happen. She knew it all along. She knew that her two friends had always looked at each other that way. And she knew that the only reason they wouldn't make a move was because they valued her more than their own feelings and out of desperation, she took that chance. She knew that they wouldn't have the heart to openly betray her and go through with their feelings because she was that important. She had to take that chance. It was the only way she could keep what she wants from being taken away. It was the only way she could keep Rin from being taken away.

Everyone considered her as the weak-willed girl who would never speak up for herself even if she was asked to. They wanted to protect her and would do anything to make sure that she doesn't lose herself. They all took her as someone who needs to be protected. And she was thankful for that. Because of that mindset, she got Rin.

No. She didn't get Rin.

Going out with Rin didn't mean Rin would stop loving the painist. It didn't mean Rin would stop being the clingy friend towards her in every chance she gets. Rin would take all the chances she had to have physical contact with the pianist. Hugging her upon meeting, sitting next to her to copy her homework, constantly bugging her for help with things she couldn't do on her own. Even if she took Rin by label, she couldn't take away what Rin had for the pianist. She couldn't take away what Rin had for Maki.

Of course, it was the same for Maki. Maki would always act cold towards Rin but would never really reject her advances. Her rejection would always be all words, no action. She would complain about being hugged but would never push Rin away. She would scold Rin for always forgetting her homework but would always allow her to sit closer. No matter how easy, she would always agree to lend Rin a helping hand. There was no way the two of them could deny to each other that they felt something. And no matter how hard it is, they would always deny it when they're infront of Hanayo.

Hanayo would feel herself breaking apart at every single one of those instances. Breaking apart because she noticed the love in their eyes and breaking even more at every pained look they give when denying the existence of their feelings. She loved her friends dearly and seeing how much pain she had put them through made her want to break away.

And that's exactly what she's going to do.

"I'm sorry.. For having you two go through so much just for me."

And the last smile they will ever see from her... took place right here. She ran away with all her might, the other two not having enough time to react quick enough to stop her. She ran, ran and kept running with everything she had. Everything that helped her manage and outrun Rin who was known for being the fastest runner in their school. She ran into the station, quickly swiping her card that she had prepared in advance in order to get in as fast as possible. Of course, the gates were able to stall her two pursuers and gave her just enough time to think of what she was doing.

Looking right ahead, standing just a bit before the yellow line, she took a deep breath. She could hear them calling her name. She could hear them but she didn't at all turn to them. She was only focused on the sound of the approaching train and the sound of her steady footsteps.

And so...

She stepped across the yellow line, a thud being heard right after. And after a long moment of deadly silence, familiar voices can once again be heard screaming her name.. though this time, she wasn't ignoring them. She couldn't hear them anymore.


End file.
